


Matchmaking

by orphan_account



Category: West Wing
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-02-20
Updated: 2012-02-20
Packaged: 2017-10-31 12:26:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/344046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Donna and Cathy do some match making.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Matchmaking

‘Kathy?’  
‘Yes Sam?’ he’d been starting to ask her something for the last half an hour and then changing his mind, so she wasn’t holding out much hope of him finishing his sentence this time.  
‘I’ve been wondering…’  
‘Uh huh? She murmured.  
‘I mean to be honest I’ve always wondered…’  
Kathy tilted her head to illustrate that she was listening and interested.  
Sam shook his head, obviously frustrated with himself. ‘I’ve always…’  
‘Yes?’  
‘Never mind, it doesn’t matter.’  
‘Sam…’  
‘Seriously, it doesn’t matter’.  
‘That’s it’ Kathy snapped, dropping the files on the desk next to Sam with a bang.  
He jumped adorably.  
‘I’ve had it Sam, you’ve been dancing around something all evening, what’s wrong? What have you been wondering about?’  
‘It’s…’  
‘For God’s sake Sam, just tell me’ Kathy said, with a tone.  
‘It’s quite a hard, it’s quite complicated, I…’  
‘SAM!’  
‘I’ve always wondered what being with a guy was like’ he said in a rush.  
Kathy paused and stared for a moment.  
‘You see’ Sam said in a panicked tone ‘I shouldn’t have said anything’.  
‘Sam…’  
‘It’s not like I’m ever going to do anything about it, I’ve just always wondered’ he said, standing up.  
‘Sam…’  
‘It’s just idle curiosity really…’  
‘SAM’ Kathy yelled.  
‘Yes?’ he replied meekly.  
‘It’s ok Sam, I’m not freaking out, there’s no need for you to freak out, let’s talk about this calmly’.  
Sam nodded, taking a deep breath ‘ok, ok’ and sat down.  
Kathy waited for him to say something, when he didn’t she asked ‘so have you always been attracted to men?’  
Sam spluttered for quite a while ‘I…I mean, I don’t…’  
‘Sam?’  
‘Yes’ he looked miserable.  
‘And you’ve never done anything about it?’  
Sam shook his head.  
‘Nothing at all?’  
‘No’ Sam sighed.  
‘Not even a kiss?’  
‘No, Kathy, nothing’ Sam sounded exasperated.  
‘Well, why the hell not?’  
‘Kathy!’  
‘I’m serious Sam, you’ve always been attracted to men and yet you’ve never even kissed a guy?’   
‘No, it was never, there wasn’t…I was always going out with a girl, or…I mean, well no guy ever approached me’.  
‘No guy ever approached you?’  
‘No.’  
‘And I take it you never approached a guy?’  
‘No!’  
‘Did you ever, you know, go to a gay bar or somewhere that a guy might have been approached?’  
‘No!!’  
‘Why not?’ Kathy’s tone was slightly amused.  
‘Because, well, I mean…I couldn’t…because, well because I was scared’ Sam admitted looking sheepish.  
Kathy smiled sympathetically at that ‘well that’s understandable, I imagine the idea of going to a gay club would be quite overwhelming’.  
‘Exactly!’ Sam exclaimed, looking relieved she understood.  
‘And obviously now it’s out of the question, if someone saw you…’  
‘Again, exactly.’  
‘So basically you’re waiting to be approached by a guy in your every day life?’  
Sam paused ‘well…’  
‘That’s the only way you’ll ever do anything?’  
Sam nodded.  
‘I assume you’d like to be approached by a reasonably attractive guy?’  
‘Preferably.’  
‘And you’d have to be able to trust him? I mean, going to bed with a guy for the first time, you’d have to be secure you could trust them, feel safe.’  
‘Yeah, I hadn’t even thought of that’ Sam agreed.  
‘Do you think this is likely to happen in your every day life?’  
‘No! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, I’ve always wondered what it would be like and now I’ve realised that I’ll probably never know.’  
‘Oh Sam, you don’t know that’ Kathy moved to perch on the desk in front of him.  
‘Yes I do, and anyway, I mean, at my age, I could hardly…well I’d have no idea what I was doing’.  
Kathy nodded ‘you would certainly have to feel comfortable enough with someone to tell them that’.  
‘See, it’s hopeless, I’m just going to have to accept that it’s not something I will ever experience.’  
‘You’re not getting off the hook that easily’ Kathy said briskly, standing up ‘let me have a think about it’.  
‘Kathy…’  
‘Leave it with me Sam’ she said, in a sing song voice.  
‘Don’t do anything, don’t…’  
‘What could I possibly do?’ Kathy asked.  
‘I don’t know…’  
‘Trust me Sam.’

‘Wow’ Donna repeated ‘wow.’  
‘I know, I was surprised too, what worries me if it’s obviously really praying on his mind or he wouldn’t be telling me. I don’t want him… well getting drunk and telling someone stupid’ Kathy explained.  
‘Or doing someone stupid?’  
‘Well quite’ Kathy agreed.  
‘So, what are we going to do?’ Donna asked.  
‘Well as I said, he’d have to be approached by someone, and it would have to be someone he trusted…’  
‘So you’re thinking?’  
‘Exactly’ Kathy replied ‘do you think he would be interested?’  
Donna looked thoughtful ‘it’s been a long time since he’s been with a man, I mean it would be too dangerous now, any one could sell their story to the press. But I mean Sam’s gorgeous so…’  
‘Think it would be fairly easy to motivate him?’  
‘Yeah, I think the only thing would be if it was too weird because they’ve been friends so long.’  
‘But that’s exactly what Sam needs, a good friend to help him through something he obviously finds scary, look Josh is someone he trusts implicitly.’  
‘That’s true’ Donna agreed ‘and Josh really needs to get laid.’  
‘Definitely’ Kathy replied with a laugh ‘so what do we do?’  
‘I’ll talk to Josh’ Donna offered.  
‘I don’t know Donna’ Kathy hesitated ‘I think that might make Sam mad, he didn’t want me to talk to anyone, I think he might think I am interfering.’  
‘You are.’  
‘But he doesn’t have to know that.’  
‘Do you want to help him?’ Donna demanded.  
‘Yes.’  
‘Can you think of another way?’  
‘No’ Kathy admitted with a sigh.  
‘Well then, I’ll test the waters with Josh and you ease Sam gently in to the idea?’  
‘Ok, lets do this.’

‘Hey Josh’ Donna said, walking into the office. She opted for a sweeter tone then she would usually use.  
‘Hey’ obviously that tone had been the wrong choice because he already sounded nervous.   
‘What you doing?’ she toned down the sweetness.  
Josh shrugged and opened his mouth for what was likely to be a very long explanation.  
‘I was just wondering’ she interrupted, before he could get started ‘if I could talk to you about something.’  
‘Yeah, of course.’  
‘It’s a friend of mine.’  
‘Okay.’  
‘Well they want my help with something, something I’m good at but they don’t really know what they’re doing with it.’  
‘And?’  
‘Well what should I do?’  
‘What?’ Josh asked.  
‘What should I do?’  
Josh shrugged ‘help them, obviously.’  
‘Hmm, that’s an interesting point.’  
‘Donna, what are you talking about? Of course you should help your friend?’  
‘That’s what you would do?’  
‘Yes, that’s what I would do.’  
‘If there was something you were good at and a friend needed your help, you’d help them?’  
‘Of course.’  
‘No matter what it was?’  
Josh hesitated ‘what is this about Donna?’  
‘It’s about helping people, helping your friends.’  
‘Do you want something from me?’  
‘No’ Donna said ‘no, no, no, I don’t want anything’.  
‘What?’  
‘What would you say if I told you I knew someone who needed your help with something?’  
‘I’d say stop dicking around and tell me what’s going on already’ Josh yelled.  
‘I can’t tell you if you’re in this mood’ Donna said, turning her head to one side.  
‘Donna…’  
‘No Josh, this is important and I need you receptive.’  
‘Okay, okay, I’m receptive…who needs my help?’  
‘Sam.’  
‘Sam? Why didn’t you just tell me?’ Josh said, standing up to go to him.  
‘Not so fast, he didn’t ask for your help and he’d probably be annoyed that I am.’  
‘Why? Why wouldn’t he want my help?’  
‘Well I think he would, I just think he might be…embarrassed to ask.’  
Josh sat down ‘why?’  
‘It’s personal.’  
‘Donna, it’s Sam!’  
‘Your best friend.’  
‘Exactly.’  
‘You’d do anything for him?’  
‘Of course.’  
‘By anything?’  
‘ANYTHING DONNA.’  
‘Okay, okay, calm down, I’ll explain.’  
Josh waited.  
‘Okay, Sam told Kathy something that had been…’  
‘Enough with the cryptic Donna, just tell me’.  
‘He wants to have sex with a guy’ Donna blurted.  
Josh stared.  
Donna stared back.  
Josh spluttered for a moment ‘you couldn’t have led into it at all?’  
‘I tried to, you wouldn’t let me!’  
‘I…I…what?’  
‘Apparently it’s something he’s always wondered and now he’s worried that he’ll never get the chance.’   
‘Oh’.  
Donna just nodded.  
‘OH! You want me to…’  
Donna nodded.  
‘Donna!’  
‘Josh look, now I’m not claiming to be an expert in men or sex and certainly not two men having sex but in my experience men don’t particularly care where they get it’.  
‘Donna!’  
‘Look, Sam’s a good looking guy right?’  
‘Well, yeah…’  
‘And I bet that, if you imagine you don’t know him and were picking him up in a club, the idea of sleeping with him isn’t wholly unpleasant?’  
‘Well no it’s not, but…’  
‘But what?’   
‘I do know him. I’ve known him for ever, it might be weird.’  
‘You just told me that if you had a friend who was scared about something and you could help them out, you would’.  
‘This isn’t exactly what I had in mind’.  
‘You said anything’ she reminded him.  
‘Don’t you think that Sam would be uncomfortable…exploring this with someone he knows so well?’  
‘No, I think it would have to be someone he knows well. Someone he trusts. Josh, he’s never done anything like this before, he knows by his age most people would have, so he’ll be embarrassed about admitting that he’s scared and Josh wouldn’t you want someone who was going to support you in this?’  
‘Yeah I guess, I mean I do…it’s not unappealing. Did he ask you to talk to me?’  
‘No!’ Donna exclaimed ‘not at all, I don’t think he even knows you’ve been with men, I think he would be horrified to know I was speaking to you, I get the feeling if he was actually presented with an opportunity to do something about it, he would run scared.’  
‘So are you telling me that Sam will need convincing about this?’  
‘Yes, you’re going to have to seduce him. Kathy’s going to smooth the way.’  
‘Smooth the way! I haven’t agreed to anything yet.’  
‘I’ve told you what’s going on, Kathy will smooth the way with Sam, what happens then is up to the two of you.’ And with that Donna rose and left the office leaving behind a rather stunned Josh.

‘Hey’ Kathy said, as she entered Sam’s office, closing the door behind her.  
‘Hey, look Kathy I’ve been thinking, just forget everything I told you. I was having a bad day, it’s been something I’ve always wondered about but it’s not like it matters, just idle curiosity, I’ll never do anything about it.’  
Kathy nodded as if she was considering ‘well Sam, I could forget about it but the problem is I think you were serious, I think it does matter’ she held up her hand to stop him from interrupting ‘and I’ve already sorted it out’.  
‘What!!’  
‘I’ve found you a guy’.  
Sam looked like he was about to faint ‘Kathy, I, what, tell me you’re kidding?’  
‘I’ve found a guy who has a history with men, who you trust, who would be patient and understanding’.  
‘Kathy!’  
‘No need to thank me Sam, its all part of my job’.  
‘Oh my God Kathy, tell me you haven’t spoken to this man?’  
‘Nope.’  
‘Oh, thank God’.  
‘Donna has’.  
‘Donna’s done what?’  
‘Sam…’  
‘Donna’s done WHAT?’  
‘Sam, there is no need…’  
‘There is a need, damn it Kathy, do you know what the two of you could have done?’  
‘It’s perfectly fine, honestly Sam, we can trust this guy.’  
‘You can’t be sure of that Kathy; he could go to the press.’  
‘He’s not going to the press Sam.’  
‘He’s going to go to the press’ Sam insisted.  
‘He’s really not.’  
‘How do you know that? How can you be sure?’  
‘Because…’  
‘How can you be sure!?!’  
‘Because it’s Josh.’  
‘…’  
‘Okay, you know what I’m thinking’ Kathy continued ‘I’m thinking you’ve had a few too many shocks in the last couple of days, you’re under a lot of stress and you’re probably about ready to crack.’  
‘…’  
‘But I want you to know that this is going to be okay.’  
‘It’s not going to be okay’ Sam said in a small voice.  
‘It is.’  
‘Kathy, you told Josh.’  
‘Donna told Josh.’  
‘I can’t believe Josh knows, what’s he going to think?’  
‘He’s your friend; he’s going to be there for you.’  
‘You asked Josh to find me a guy I could have sex with?’   
‘Not exactly’ Kathy replied.  
‘Then what?’   
‘He is the guy’ Kathy replied hesitantly ‘and I realise that this may be one more shock then you can handle.’  
‘Kathy! How…what, how can he possibly be the guy? Is that a joke?’  
‘No Sam, it’s not a joke, it’s very serious. He’s perfect, you trust him, he’s experienced, and he is the last person who would go to the press.’  
‘But…but Josh is straight.’  
‘No sweetie, he’s not. He’s just curtailed his tastes since he started working for the president. I reckon he’s probably just aching for…’  
‘Okay, Kathy, this is going to take some getting used to.’  
‘Yeah, the thing is Sam I reckon you’ve taken a lot of time to get used to things and it’s about time you start acting.’  
‘Oh my God, you told Josh I wanted a man to sleep with, you told him it would be a favour to me if he had sex with me?’  
‘No.’  
‘Thank God.’  
‘Donna did.’  
‘KATHY!!’  
‘It’s ok Sam.’  
‘Oh my God, he must think I’ve gone crazy, he must think…what did he say?’  
‘Seemed to find the idea quite enticing’ Kathy replied.  
‘What?’ Sam looked paler than ever.  
‘Think you might finally get to find out what being with a guy is like.’  
‘Kathy…’  
‘I know, it’s scary and that’s why it’s Josh.’

Okay, Sam thought, after Kathy had left the office. I simply have to avoid seeing Josh today. Okay, that’s never going to work. I just have to avoid being alone with him, which shouldn’t be too hard. I’ll just act like I’m really busy and have no idea that Donna has talked to him. Hopefully he will just assume it was all a big joke or will just ignore it anyway.

We’d been in the meeting for about an hour now and Sam still hadn’t made eye contact with me. He hadn’t said anything, had barely looked up in fact. Kathy had obviously told him that Donna had talked to me and it looked like Donna was right, Sam was obviously very freaked out about the whole thing. And for some reason that made me really want this for the first time. When Donna told me about Sam’s wondering I’d been mildly interested but the risk of damaging our friendship had been greater. But now seeing him like this, nervous and blushing, obviously scared and confused, I felt a mix of desire to show him what he’d been missing and to protect him from the many other men that might take advantage of him.  
I tried to grab him before he left the meeting but he stuttered past me before I had a chance.  
‘Could you please find out what’s wrong with him?’ Toby said as he walked past ‘he’s barely said a word all day.’  
So deciding that Toby’s barked order was excuse enough I went down to Sam’s office.   
The door was shut. I knocked on the door; no answer. I walked through the door; he was pretending to be on the phone.  
‘I’m a little busy at the moment’.  
I smiled slightly and closed the door, leaning up against it and watching him.  
He dropped his eyes and I could see the blush rise on his cheeks. He was flustered and was trying to pretend now that he was actually having a conversation. I looked at him and couldn’t believe that I’d never noticed how beautiful he was.  
‘Sam…’  
‘I’m…’  
‘Put the phone down Sam’ I said gently, walking over and sitting down in front of the desk.   
Sam sighed and put the phone down. He sat down and finally looked at me.  
‘Can I help you?’ he asked.  
Josh almost replied that he rather thought that he was the one who was going to help Sam but Sam looked so terrified already he stopped himself.  
‘Sam…’  
‘It’s just that I’m rather busy…’  
‘Sam. Let’s not waste time here, Donna told me, you know Donna told me and I know you know that Donna told me so lets not waste time pretending otherwise.’  
He looked away again.  
‘I’m sorry Josh’.  
‘Sam, you don’t have to be sorry for anything.’  
‘I shouldn’t…I was a bit depressed, I told Kathy that I’d…’  
‘Always wondered what it was like to be with a man?’ I supplied.  
He blushed again and looked down ‘yes, I did, but it all got out of hand, I’m sorry you got dragged into it.’  
‘I’m not’ I replied.  
He looked up in surprise ‘not what?’  
‘I’m not sorry to have been dragged into it’ I explained.  
He looked up startled. He stuttered.   
‘Sam…’  
‘Josh I…’  
‘It’s okay Sam, don’t freak out.’  
He looked panicked; he tried again ‘Josh…’  
‘Yes Sam?’  
‘I really don’t want to talk about this, I mean I don’t want to be rude or anything I just…’  
‘Sam you need to talk about this regardless of whether you want to, the girls are worried about you, I’m worried about you…’  
‘I’m just so embarrassed.’  
‘You don’t have to be embarrassed.’  
‘Josh the girls asked you…’ he broke off, he couldn’t even say it. And I knew at that moment that I had to have him. I made sure this didn’t show in my face though as I knew it would only scare him further, I needed to appear as unthreatening as possible.   
‘It’s not your fault what the girls did, they’re idiots, they’re the ones who should be embarrassed not you.’  
He didn’t look convinced.  
‘They only thing you should be embarrassed about is that you didn’t come and talk to me about this, I mean I thought you could talk to me about anything?’  
‘I could, I can, it’s just…well there wasn’t anything to talk about, I mean, it’s not…I just wondered.’  
I could tell that he was still considering the idea I might be here to offer to “help” and that it was a frightening thought, I wondered if it was at all appealing to him.   
‘Well it obviously has been upsetting you and that would have been reason enough to talk to me, and now I know I think we should talk about it.’  
‘Josh…’  
‘Yes Sam?’  
‘I don’t…I don’t know what to say, I don’t know how to talk about it, I don’t even know what to say.’  
I nodded ‘okay, so I’ll start, have you always been attracted to men?’  
The blush that had just started to fade was back with full force and he did that stuttering thing that I was starting to find addictive ‘I don’t…’  
‘Sam it’s nothing to be ashamed of, I’ve always been attracted to men.’  
At that he dropped his gaze again ‘I guess I have’ he said quietly.   
‘But you’ve never done anything about it?’  
He shook his head and suddenly looked years younger.  
‘Why not?’  
‘There was never, I didn’t…it wasn’t…’  
‘Sam. Why not?’  
‘Because I was scared’ he replied with a sigh.  
I nodded. He looked like a little boy. I wanted to go over and put my arm around him but I knew it would freak him out right now. He’d probably run a mile. I stayed where I was.  
‘I think that’s perfectly normal’ I said gently ‘I know I was terrified the first time a guy asked me out’.  
‘You were?’ he asked, he looked surprised.  
‘Yep.’  
‘How did you get over it?’   
‘The guy didn’t take no for an answer.’  
He laughed and I smiled with relief at the normal moment between us.  
‘Sam, you know you can’t go to some club and…’  
‘I know Josh’ he replied ‘and that’s really why I talked to Kathy, I just…I’d just always wondered and just wanted some sympathy I guess. I don’t intend to do something about it at all.’  
‘Would you want to?’  
‘What?’ he coloured again.  
‘If getting caught wasn’t a worry, would you want to?’ I repeated the question. He shifted in his seat looking uncomfortable.   
‘I don’t know’ he replied softly, not looking at me.  
‘Sam!’ he met my gaze again briefly before standing up quickly and pacing across to the other side of the room, but I caught the flash of interest in his eyes. It was quickly covered by fear but it was enough to give me hope and convince me that this was the right thing to do. 

* * * * * * * * * *  
I turned away from Josh quickly, hoping he wouldn’t see in my eyes how appealing the idea of doing something about it was. I wasn’t ready for this. Then when will you be? A little voice whispered softly to me. I had a quick flash of Josh crossing the room quickly, grabbing me and just kissing me. I shook the image away quickly as terrified as I was aroused. I was momentarily foolishly afraid that Josh would be able to hear how fast my heart was beating.   
‘Let’s go out for a beer?’ Josh said his voice light.  
I turned back to him ‘what?’  
‘You’re stressed out, you need to unwind and calm down.’  
For a moment I considered the possibility that he thought I’d be more pliable drunk, something of that obviously showed in my face because he laughed and said gently ‘I promise I’m not going to jump you.’  
I felt my whole body relax at that and laughed slightly; this was Josh, my best friend, I didn’t have to be nervous round him.   
‘I’m sorry, this is all just…’  
‘I know.’

We went down to a bar and had a few drinks. Josh kept the conversation off my recent revelation and I didn’t know how to bring it up. The surprisingly thing was that I actually wanted to bring it up; I wanted to talk to him about it. I was slightly nervous about the possible outcomes of that conversation but I still wanted to do it. I felt like now I had taken this first step if I didn’t keep going I would never find the courage again. But I didn’t bring it up.   
Neither did he. Everything was normal. Expect that at the end of the night he walked me up to my apartment. He chatted about something perfectly naturally in the elevator but I wasn’t sure what. I didn’t make any response; I felt 17 again, walking Nancy Humber up to her drive.  
We reached my door and I turned  
‘Do you want to come in?’ I hated that my voice trembled when I asked. I felt like a 17 year old virgin again and I hated it.  
‘No’ he said with a smile.  
‘No?’ I sounded irritated and then looked away in embarrassment when I looked like that I was insulted he turned me down.  
He smiled again briefly and the he reached out and pushed a hand on my chest and pushed me against the wall with a jolt. Before I had time to think about it or to speak he leaned up against me and kissed me. I’d never been kissed like it before. His tongue invaded my mouth, his hand reached up and gripped my hair. When I kissed a girl I was in control, when Josh kissed me I felt like I was completely possessed. Heat washed through me. My knees actually felt weak. At that moment I was pretty sure he could have done anything to me and I wouldn’t have objected.   
Just as suddenly he had started he pulled back and whispered close to my ear, making me shiver ‘Go in and think about that; if you decide you want to find out what it’s like to be with a man, you let me know’ and with that he was gone, leaving me slumped against my wall.


End file.
